Watering Flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro
For the past several months, I have been writing for a very small local newspaper. My new vocation has brought me a lot of joy. Below is my article from last month's edition, entitled "Watering Flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro." Our latest edition debuts today. I reach the heights of hard-hitting journalism with my article on the grand opening of Waleska's brand new Dollar General store. I promise to post it here very soon.
Watering Flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro
Dad and Fred in the garden (Dad is the one on the left).
Planting season is a very big deal in my household. In a previous life, my dear father was a gifted commercial landscape designer. If you have enjoyed a 7-Layer Burrito or a Whopper in southeast you probably have seen his work. Dad landscaped many fast food restaurants in the region. Because of this, family road trips have always been amusing. We would pull into one of the said restaurants and Dad would say things like, “you kids see that tree behind the 99 cent extra value menu- yeah, I planted that.” As a kid I found this legacy pretty cool- I still do. Since Dad left the landscaping business all of his creativity has been focused on our yard. Ever since moving to this community we have had to contend with new planting issues such as wildlife, frequent treks to Home Depot and watering flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro (explanation below).
Our famed community, in my city-girl opinion, is pretty much smack dab in the middle of a vast wood. If you live in Sherwood Forest you are bound to have wildlife “issues.” The deer and the squirrels have been our main adversaries. There are certain plants that deer love to snack on. In my opinion, Dad wasted his time conducting extensive research into which foliage the deer will and will not eat. I have my own theory on this matter. I call it my (patent pending) pretty plant / ugly plant theory. Basically, if a plant is attractive the deer will consume it. If a plant looks like a hybrid crossbreed of a root vegetable and something you would normally douse with Round-Up then they won’t come within a mile of it. Squirrels are a completely different matter. The GIGANTIC squirrels that reside in our yard enjoy consuming their acorns at a stylish alfresco location, otherwise known as our deck. Our furry friends are shameless slobs, the deck is often covered in the remnants of their gluttony. I haven’t seen this much food garbage lying around since my little brother moved out five years ago. Our 17 lb. cat, Fred, is absolutely no help in the squirrel population matter- he rarely even venture off of our deck. Fred’s idea of exercise are his numerous round-the-clock visits to his food bowl.
Fred, the 17 lb. wonder cat.
Then there are those dreaded words often uttered to me by my father, “want to go to Home Depot?” I am not a big fan of shopping, of any kind, and “The Depot” (as we refer to it) is pretty much on the bottom of my list. It is not the products that bother me, but the customers. Most of the weekend consumers are young couples with 2-16 small children hanging off of them, or running amuck around the garden center. Whenever I feel a tinge of depression, due to the fact that I am unmarried, living at home and about to slam into 30, I just look at these red-faced, drooling rugrats and I feel much better. Did I mention that I saw a child lying in the open deli case at the grocery store recently? That has turned me off of potato salad for life. Sorry… I digress. After much contemplation, Dad selects his newest plants and we are on our way home. Alleluia!
While I did inherit my Father’s obscure sense of humor (Mom just doesn’t get us), I DIDN’T get his green thumb. Agricultural homicide has been a lifelong crime of mine. That’s why I was shocked when I asked Dad if I could water his new plant “babies” while he was at work and he said, “yes!” I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Let’s just say that our yard is not exactly on a level surface. It feels as though I am watering exotic plants on Mount Kilimanjaro, or for a more local reference Sharpe Top Mountain. The only tether I have is the water hose, and even with that, I am embarrassed to report, I have ended up on my back sliding down the cliff more than a few times.
Who knew gardening was such a perilous occupation! Oh, well, I guess that it’s worth it for “the beauty of nature” (and all of that other “compost”- just kidding). I just feel blessed to live in such a gorgeous setting- even if it means fleeing from huge rodents, dodging unruly children and risking a bruised backside.
Happy gardening!
Watering Flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro
Dad and Fred in the garden (Dad is the one on the left).
Planting season is a very big deal in my household. In a previous life, my dear father was a gifted commercial landscape designer. If you have enjoyed a 7-Layer Burrito or a Whopper in southeast you probably have seen his work. Dad landscaped many fast food restaurants in the region. Because of this, family road trips have always been amusing. We would pull into one of the said restaurants and Dad would say things like, “you kids see that tree behind the 99 cent extra value menu- yeah, I planted that.” As a kid I found this legacy pretty cool- I still do. Since Dad left the landscaping business all of his creativity has been focused on our yard. Ever since moving to this community we have had to contend with new planting issues such as wildlife, frequent treks to Home Depot and watering flowers on Mount Kilimanjaro (explanation below).
Our famed community, in my city-girl opinion, is pretty much smack dab in the middle of a vast wood. If you live in Sherwood Forest you are bound to have wildlife “issues.” The deer and the squirrels have been our main adversaries. There are certain plants that deer love to snack on. In my opinion, Dad wasted his time conducting extensive research into which foliage the deer will and will not eat. I have my own theory on this matter. I call it my (patent pending) pretty plant / ugly plant theory. Basically, if a plant is attractive the deer will consume it. If a plant looks like a hybrid crossbreed of a root vegetable and something you would normally douse with Round-Up then they won’t come within a mile of it. Squirrels are a completely different matter. The GIGANTIC squirrels that reside in our yard enjoy consuming their acorns at a stylish alfresco location, otherwise known as our deck. Our furry friends are shameless slobs, the deck is often covered in the remnants of their gluttony. I haven’t seen this much food garbage lying around since my little brother moved out five years ago. Our 17 lb. cat, Fred, is absolutely no help in the squirrel population matter- he rarely even venture off of our deck. Fred’s idea of exercise are his numerous round-the-clock visits to his food bowl.
Fred, the 17 lb. wonder cat.
Then there are those dreaded words often uttered to me by my father, “want to go to Home Depot?” I am not a big fan of shopping, of any kind, and “The Depot” (as we refer to it) is pretty much on the bottom of my list. It is not the products that bother me, but the customers. Most of the weekend consumers are young couples with 2-16 small children hanging off of them, or running amuck around the garden center. Whenever I feel a tinge of depression, due to the fact that I am unmarried, living at home and about to slam into 30, I just look at these red-faced, drooling rugrats and I feel much better. Did I mention that I saw a child lying in the open deli case at the grocery store recently? That has turned me off of potato salad for life. Sorry… I digress. After much contemplation, Dad selects his newest plants and we are on our way home. Alleluia!
While I did inherit my Father’s obscure sense of humor (Mom just doesn’t get us), I DIDN’T get his green thumb. Agricultural homicide has been a lifelong crime of mine. That’s why I was shocked when I asked Dad if I could water his new plant “babies” while he was at work and he said, “yes!” I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Let’s just say that our yard is not exactly on a level surface. It feels as though I am watering exotic plants on Mount Kilimanjaro, or for a more local reference Sharpe Top Mountain. The only tether I have is the water hose, and even with that, I am embarrassed to report, I have ended up on my back sliding down the cliff more than a few times.
Who knew gardening was such a perilous occupation! Oh, well, I guess that it’s worth it for “the beauty of nature” (and all of that other “compost”- just kidding). I just feel blessed to live in such a gorgeous setting- even if it means fleeing from huge rodents, dodging unruly children and risking a bruised backside.
Happy gardening!
posted by Meg | 12:03 PM
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